Earlier this year I blogged about my dense breast tissue -- I naturally have bumps and lumps that are non-distinguishable on self examinations or mammograms. In fact, mammograms don't pick up tumors on such breasts that make up 30% of the female population. Unfortunately when tumors are discovered it is late and even too late.
I was fortunate that the technician who performed my mammogram was privy to the then upcoming law which splashed the news in the fall. By the time I had my mammogram with her in January 2, 2013 she was aware that the routine mammograms I had been receiving over the years were missing hidden tumors. The only way to visualize such tumors is with a next stage, high intensity mammogram plus ultrasound. This technician that I had on January 2 dragged the radiologist out of his office to see my mammogram and suggest these better screening techniques. If it were not for my friend who needed a mammogram to which I tagged along AND this astute and gift-of-a-technician I would not be here. My grade cancer was a 9/9 level of aggressive and invasive. This means that within 30 days my cells divide and invade other tissue. By the time I'd schedule another routine mammogram a year or two later my cancer would have taken over other parts of my body and my chances for survival would not have looked good.
I write this in hopes of steering all women with dense breast tissue regardless of age or recent exams toward the newest protocol and law: your breasts will not benefit from self examination or mammogram only. You need the second level mammogram plus ultrasound which is now law in California effective this month -- April 1, 2013. Any doctor who tells you otherwise is breaking the law. This is the case whether you are 20, 30, 40; the old advice of waiting til 40 is gone if you are among the 30% female population with lumpy bumpy breasts. Schedule your appointment. Your life depends on it.
blogging my journey with breast cancer
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
First Reconstruction Bra
Since my mom bought my first training bra back around middle school, it seemed only natural for her to want to buy my first bra of reconstruction.
I've been going through reconstruction while also going through chemo. Roughly every 10-14 days I go in to the reconstruction surgeon for am injection of fluids into my chest. My "chest" means my sparred skin, pectoralis muscle, then balloon behind this muscle they call a spacer. The spacer has a valve on it which a needle with 50 cc of saline solution penetrates in order to expand my pectoralis. The end "look" is a boob.
It's surreal. It looks like a boob -- but I don't feel the boob. In fact it's like this foreign mold on my chest that doesnt bounce like regular breasts. But it's neat in that I can have something like this. I have boobs. The balloon ridges can be seen now which is a good reason to wear a bra. I may have also found my boob size of choice (with reconstruction you keep going until you are happy with a size. You go inline more time after this choice size so that the surgeon can chisel out skin for the actual implant. The balloon gets swapped for the implant at a future surgery which must wait 6 weeks after chemo end for healing purposes.)
Since my mom was in need of a new size bra and I was in need of my first reconstruction bra we went shopping together. It was fun, relaxed. It was a bonding moment and a moment of getting something pretty. As someone who hasn't done this in years since jog bras have been my choice of comfort, it was quite the experience in seeing the technology changes over the years. I went in initially trying to find out what size I am -- but this was kind of challenging since everything had pretty substantial inserts. A 34A was really not a 34A with half the bra filled with a pillow of sorts. It took a while to find a bra without the pillow. When I finally tried on pillowless bras, I then had to look inside the cup to see if my "boob" filled it up since I can't feel anything. I felt middle school ish with my attempts of finding a bra -- but it really was heartwarming and a great experience to find things that fit and feel good and look good! A transformation of sorts. Very similar memory to my first "training bra" -- and having my mom there was pretty special.
I've been going through reconstruction while also going through chemo. Roughly every 10-14 days I go in to the reconstruction surgeon for am injection of fluids into my chest. My "chest" means my sparred skin, pectoralis muscle, then balloon behind this muscle they call a spacer. The spacer has a valve on it which a needle with 50 cc of saline solution penetrates in order to expand my pectoralis. The end "look" is a boob.
It's surreal. It looks like a boob -- but I don't feel the boob. In fact it's like this foreign mold on my chest that doesnt bounce like regular breasts. But it's neat in that I can have something like this. I have boobs. The balloon ridges can be seen now which is a good reason to wear a bra. I may have also found my boob size of choice (with reconstruction you keep going until you are happy with a size. You go inline more time after this choice size so that the surgeon can chisel out skin for the actual implant. The balloon gets swapped for the implant at a future surgery which must wait 6 weeks after chemo end for healing purposes.)
Since my mom was in need of a new size bra and I was in need of my first reconstruction bra we went shopping together. It was fun, relaxed. It was a bonding moment and a moment of getting something pretty. As someone who hasn't done this in years since jog bras have been my choice of comfort, it was quite the experience in seeing the technology changes over the years. I went in initially trying to find out what size I am -- but this was kind of challenging since everything had pretty substantial inserts. A 34A was really not a 34A with half the bra filled with a pillow of sorts. It took a while to find a bra without the pillow. When I finally tried on pillowless bras, I then had to look inside the cup to see if my "boob" filled it up since I can't feel anything. I felt middle school ish with my attempts of finding a bra -- but it really was heartwarming and a great experience to find things that fit and feel good and look good! A transformation of sorts. Very similar memory to my first "training bra" -- and having my mom there was pretty special.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Surviving Chemo Round 2: Food Poisoning or Chemo Effects?
My first round of Chemo came after taking a cumulative exam for graduate school that covered 3 years of work plus 3 years of prerequisites. Though my labs were normal, my blood pressure and heart rate was a little higher for me that first day of Chemo. I guess these vitals are a good read of the body and life circumstance. (addendum: Just found out today that I passed my graduate exams!!!!!! I get to graduate on May 21, 2013. Back in January I didn't think this would be possible due to timing. But so so very grateful that the window between mastectomy and chemotherapy allowed me the time to take these exams. Relieved and so happy).
For this second round of Chemo, my labs definitely showed the effects of Chemo -- white blood cells and red blood cells were both low. Expected. Chemo is supposed to break the body down like that in order to rid cancer BUT the good news was that my blood pressure and heart rate was back to normal athlete-like states. This is huge. These can impact overall effects.
Chemo went well. In fact, no problems at all. And the overall day went well. There was, however, one two hour period that felt like I was in the undertow of a wave. Fetal position, aches, moans, tears...I was experiencing cold sweats, shivers, nausea, vomit, constipation and diarrhea all at the same time. This is what was common back in the day. But today these effects are more controlled. In my case, there are two great reasons why this happened and are now under control:
First, I miscalculated the amount if steroid I needed to avoid these effects. The day before Chemo one is supposed to start steroids. I did this -- but took only half the amount needed by accident. I misread "2 tablets twice daily starting the day prior to Chemo" as two tablets total -- I took 1 tablet twice that day. Then I thought steroid would be in my IV like last time. Wrong. I was supposed to take two tablets that morning of Chemo -- which I didn't . The result: my body had a hard time processing the Chemo without the right amount of steroid, hence the horrible two hour inner tsunami. The good news: I'm back on schedule and my body feels great.
The double whammy is that I also got food poisoning from eggs. So, both Chemo and food poisoning played hard ball together.
Again, in the grand scheme of things two hours out of 24 is a blessing. It could have been worse. I still had 22 wonderful hours. In fact, my husband and son got to watch initial set up for the day. My 7 year old son asked so many great questions and told me I was brave. That alone warmed my heart throughout the day. And all family and friend words of encouragement and prayers helped me stay strong.
Thank you from the warmest part of my heart!
For this second round of Chemo, my labs definitely showed the effects of Chemo -- white blood cells and red blood cells were both low. Expected. Chemo is supposed to break the body down like that in order to rid cancer BUT the good news was that my blood pressure and heart rate was back to normal athlete-like states. This is huge. These can impact overall effects.
Chemo went well. In fact, no problems at all. And the overall day went well. There was, however, one two hour period that felt like I was in the undertow of a wave. Fetal position, aches, moans, tears...I was experiencing cold sweats, shivers, nausea, vomit, constipation and diarrhea all at the same time. This is what was common back in the day. But today these effects are more controlled. In my case, there are two great reasons why this happened and are now under control:
First, I miscalculated the amount if steroid I needed to avoid these effects. The day before Chemo one is supposed to start steroids. I did this -- but took only half the amount needed by accident. I misread "2 tablets twice daily starting the day prior to Chemo" as two tablets total -- I took 1 tablet twice that day. Then I thought steroid would be in my IV like last time. Wrong. I was supposed to take two tablets that morning of Chemo -- which I didn't . The result: my body had a hard time processing the Chemo without the right amount of steroid, hence the horrible two hour inner tsunami. The good news: I'm back on schedule and my body feels great.
The double whammy is that I also got food poisoning from eggs. So, both Chemo and food poisoning played hard ball together.
Again, in the grand scheme of things two hours out of 24 is a blessing. It could have been worse. I still had 22 wonderful hours. In fact, my husband and son got to watch initial set up for the day. My 7 year old son asked so many great questions and told me I was brave. That alone warmed my heart throughout the day. And all family and friend words of encouragement and prayers helped me stay strong.
Thank you from the warmest part of my heart!
 |
At chemo set-up...
|
 |
| Mommy and Son Chillin' after a long but great day. |
 |
| My son getting a kick out of Mommy's Chemo Infusion Machine (a.k.a Pirate Ship Producer Machine) |
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Chemo Round 2
Today I'll be going in for my second round of Chemo infusion. I've been up all night due to the steroid they have me take the day before infusion. I take this for the first three days; these are my best days. Sure enough once the steroid is gone things start kicking in.
During my first round I felt like my symptoms were manageable. I had nausea, headaches, body aches. Overall these happened in short spurts treatable with meds or supplements. In other words, the entire day was not spent ill; just patches for me, randomly, and a bit daily.
As for not expected things, I had a weird reactions on day 10 that made my scalp bloody. Not clotting is a sign of platelet counts being too low. Labs performed than day had my platelets normal but my white blood cells were skyrocket high (normal max is 10 but mine were 21!) and my red blood cells were low. Like other symptoms, meds are given. They gave me antibiotics. Reminds me of healing a house (cleaning). In our small but comfy home we sometimes clean (heal) a room but in order to make that space work we dirty up another room (like our office or garage). By dirtying or cluttering we are in a sense making that room ill. It can be a tolerable ill until a breaking point is reached and intervention (aka cleaning or medicine if following analogy) is needed. I feel like major rooms in my body are being healed but others suffer and it's all treatable but it's a constant juggling and balancing act.
As for expected things, On day 14 I started to lose my hair. It's mostly gone now; the stragglers are just barely hanging on. With one hair wash these will be but a memory. I'm ready.
My chemo is a piece of cake compared to the pain Boston is experiencing now. I can't stop thinking about the Boston Marathon. My heart goes out to the victims, their families, and the town of Boston. It's just so heartbreaking -- especially the 8 year old who died. I can't help but think of my soon to be 8 year old who spectates my races. There for what's supposed to be a happy event filled with both trial and triumph. So innocent. So wrong. I'll be thinking of Boston as I go through my Chemo round today and pray for healing and answers.
Boston News links:
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/04/15/us/site-of-the-boston-marathon-explosion.html?_r=0
http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/16/us/boston-marathon-explosions/index.html
During my first round I felt like my symptoms were manageable. I had nausea, headaches, body aches. Overall these happened in short spurts treatable with meds or supplements. In other words, the entire day was not spent ill; just patches for me, randomly, and a bit daily.
As for not expected things, I had a weird reactions on day 10 that made my scalp bloody. Not clotting is a sign of platelet counts being too low. Labs performed than day had my platelets normal but my white blood cells were skyrocket high (normal max is 10 but mine were 21!) and my red blood cells were low. Like other symptoms, meds are given. They gave me antibiotics. Reminds me of healing a house (cleaning). In our small but comfy home we sometimes clean (heal) a room but in order to make that space work we dirty up another room (like our office or garage). By dirtying or cluttering we are in a sense making that room ill. It can be a tolerable ill until a breaking point is reached and intervention (aka cleaning or medicine if following analogy) is needed. I feel like major rooms in my body are being healed but others suffer and it's all treatable but it's a constant juggling and balancing act.
As for expected things, On day 14 I started to lose my hair. It's mostly gone now; the stragglers are just barely hanging on. With one hair wash these will be but a memory. I'm ready.
My chemo is a piece of cake compared to the pain Boston is experiencing now. I can't stop thinking about the Boston Marathon. My heart goes out to the victims, their families, and the town of Boston. It's just so heartbreaking -- especially the 8 year old who died. I can't help but think of my soon to be 8 year old who spectates my races. There for what's supposed to be a happy event filled with both trial and triumph. So innocent. So wrong. I'll be thinking of Boston as I go through my Chemo round today and pray for healing and answers.
Boston News links:
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/04/15/us/site-of-the-boston-marathon-explosion.html?_r=0
http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/16/us/boston-marathon-explosions/index.html
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Phantom Hair
It's been a few times now that I go to wash my hair and I've forgotten that I don't have my long hair. In fact, when I'm in the shower and I bend over with water going down my scalp I then whisk my head back and overshoot the whisk with an unconscious full expectation of my hair being long drippy wet. But it's not.
It reminded me of phantom limbs we read about in neurology classes where an amputee would feel a limb that's actually not there.
Just today an article about this phenomena cams out of Sweden. It's at:
http://mobile.rawstory.com/therawstory/#!/entry/nonamputees-also-experience-phantom-limb-sensation,51670a34d7fc7b5670a95f3e
In this article, it talks about a study that doesn't limit the phantom feeling to missing limbs. I wonder how many chemo patients experience what I am experiencing. I'm not emotionally attached in any way -- it's just interesting how the brain has yet to catch on to the sensation part of reality.
Incidentally, body hair for me started falling out a couple of days ago on day 14 of chemo cycle. Today I took off my baseball cap and chunks of my shaved head stubble came out. So for me, scalp hair started coming off day 16. A friend asked me what it was like -- if it hurt or didn't. It didn't hurt, per se. It reminded me of my earlier years when I used a hair removal cream, Nair, on my legs. It tingles, then the hair just kind of slips out of its pore. Some just come off; some will gently glide out if you tugged at it just a bit. It was weird. No matter how prepared one can be in terms of reading about it, one really has to go through it to really get it. Surreal.
It reminded me of phantom limbs we read about in neurology classes where an amputee would feel a limb that's actually not there.
Just today an article about this phenomena cams out of Sweden. It's at:
http://mobile.rawstory.com/therawstory/#!/entry/nonamputees-also-experience-phantom-limb-sensation,51670a34d7fc7b5670a95f3e
In this article, it talks about a study that doesn't limit the phantom feeling to missing limbs. I wonder how many chemo patients experience what I am experiencing. I'm not emotionally attached in any way -- it's just interesting how the brain has yet to catch on to the sensation part of reality.
Incidentally, body hair for me started falling out a couple of days ago on day 14 of chemo cycle. Today I took off my baseball cap and chunks of my shaved head stubble came out. So for me, scalp hair started coming off day 16. A friend asked me what it was like -- if it hurt or didn't. It didn't hurt, per se. It reminded me of my earlier years when I used a hair removal cream, Nair, on my legs. It tingles, then the hair just kind of slips out of its pore. Some just come off; some will gently glide out if you tugged at it just a bit. It was weird. No matter how prepared one can be in terms of reading about it, one really has to go through it to really get it. Surreal.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Cranial Prosthesis Prescription: A.K.A. "Wig"
When I called the American Cancer Society the other day I learned that if you call your insurance company and ask if they cover wigs, they will say no. However, if you call and ask if they cover 'cranial prosthesis' then they would say yes. They both 'mean' the same thing. My insurance covers one word, not the other word -- even though you could be looking at the same product.
My oncologist gave me a prescription for a cranial prosthesis just to cover my bases. I don't mind my bald head, but I figured if it's covered I may as well have fun with it. Who knows -- there may be occasions where I want to wear a wig, excuse me, 'cranial prosthesis'.
Here are my shots of trying these puppies on. For the most part I was shooting for my regular hair color but the place I went to didn't have the styles in my color (but these could be ordered).
I ended up getting this one:
My oncologist gave me a prescription for a cranial prosthesis just to cover my bases. I don't mind my bald head, but I figured if it's covered I may as well have fun with it. Who knows -- there may be occasions where I want to wear a wig, excuse me, 'cranial prosthesis'.
Here are my shots of trying these puppies on. For the most part I was shooting for my regular hair color but the place I went to didn't have the styles in my color (but these could be ordered).
I ended up getting this one:
These are others I tried on:
Make-up
A week before I started chemo I bought new foundation for my skin. I got the same brand online, Nars, that I've been using for 3 years now. I bought a new bottle because I read that when going through chemo you don't want bacteria from old make-up (pre-chemo) being put on your skin. You can risk infection which is not worth it. I got the new bottle but same brand not thinking about chemical ingredients until I visited my local Sephora store a few days before chemo.
At the store I could not believe how many chemicals were in make-up. This made me do a search on my phone for ones that kept popping up: paraben, talc, fragrance. After two hours I came to the conclusion I couldn't buy anything from that store. Parabens have been linked to not only breast cancer tumors but to endocrine disruption which leads to hormone imbalance, other cancers, and nervous system impact. Fragrance contains the following listed ingredients that are also linked to cancer:
I decided to throw away all my old make-up that contain toxins. Sure, it sucks to do so because it's costly. But -- it sucks more to have cancer which is more costly. Starting fresh with new eyes and new information was the solution that made the most sense to me. So, I went shopping to a local Mother's Health market which contains a make-up counter with many healthy make-up options. I ended up going with Gabriel Cosmetics. Not only great options, but on sale! Here's their list of ingredients. Below are pictures of my field trip.
These are some of the references I went through on my make-up mission. If you were limited on time, I would definitely read the first one (it's a pamphlet you can carry with just key points; the next two links are awesome, too.:
Pamphlet guide: (a one page cut-out you can carry in your wallet)
http://static.ewg.org/skindeep/pdf/EWG_cosmeticsguide.pdf
More details about the ingredients presented in an easy to read fashion:
http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/top-tips-for-safer-products/#buyerbeware
The environmental working group database which collects data and performs research:
http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/
More on paraben (so if a word on your ingredients contains the suffix '-paraben', it's the same thing)
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraben#section_5
More on Endocrine disruptor. Nasty -- especially for premenopausal women.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocrine_disruptor
More on Fragrance:
http://www.breastcanceroptions.org/cosmetics_and_fragrances_pose_high_risks_0.aspx
Original search starting point:
http://www.google.com/search?q=cancer+friendly+makeup&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari
Paraben free cosmetics
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/complementary-therapies/paraben-etc-free-cosmetics
http://www.breastcancerfund.org/reduce-your-risk/tips/choose-safe-cosmetics/
http://bcaction.org/our-take-on-breast-cancer/environment/safe-cosmetics/paraben-free-cosmetics/
http://m.cancer.org/treatment/supportprogramsservices/look-good-feel-better
http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/
http://forums.vogue.com.au/showthread.php?t=63735
http://www.specktra.net/t/104316/nars-powder-foundation-ingredients
http://thebeautybrains.com/2010/06/05/is-nars-makeup-worth-the-price-2/
http://m.sephora.com/sheer-glow-foundation-P247355
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2008/11/06/earth-friendly-makeup-how_n_139270.html
http://www.makeupandbeautyblog.com/product-reviews/makeup-and-beauty-tips-for-breast-cancer-patients-staying-beautiful-inside-and-out-product-reviews-bath-tartes-sweet-dreams-lipstick/
http://doctornalini.com/cancer-causing-cosmetics-poisions-in-your-bathroom/
At the store I could not believe how many chemicals were in make-up. This made me do a search on my phone for ones that kept popping up: paraben, talc, fragrance. After two hours I came to the conclusion I couldn't buy anything from that store. Parabens have been linked to not only breast cancer tumors but to endocrine disruption which leads to hormone imbalance, other cancers, and nervous system impact. Fragrance contains the following listed ingredients that are also linked to cancer:
- DMDM hydantoin,
- Diazolidinyl urea,
- Imidazolidinyl urea,
- Ceteareth,
- Polyethylene glycol and PEG
I decided to throw away all my old make-up that contain toxins. Sure, it sucks to do so because it's costly. But -- it sucks more to have cancer which is more costly. Starting fresh with new eyes and new information was the solution that made the most sense to me. So, I went shopping to a local Mother's Health market which contains a make-up counter with many healthy make-up options. I ended up going with Gabriel Cosmetics. Not only great options, but on sale! Here's their list of ingredients. Below are pictures of my field trip.
pictures of make-up counter products. These are all safe in case you are interested in looking at these as options:
These are some of the references I went through on my make-up mission. If you were limited on time, I would definitely read the first one (it's a pamphlet you can carry with just key points; the next two links are awesome, too.:
Pamphlet guide: (a one page cut-out you can carry in your wallet)
http://static.ewg.org/skindeep/pdf/EWG_cosmeticsguide.pdf
More details about the ingredients presented in an easy to read fashion:
http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/top-tips-for-safer-products/#buyerbeware
The environmental working group database which collects data and performs research:
http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/
More on paraben (so if a word on your ingredients contains the suffix '-paraben', it's the same thing)
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraben#section_5
More on Endocrine disruptor. Nasty -- especially for premenopausal women.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocrine_disruptor
More on Fragrance:
http://www.breastcanceroptions.org/cosmetics_and_fragrances_pose_high_risks_0.aspx
Original search starting point:
http://www.google.com/search?q=cancer+friendly+makeup&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari
Paraben free cosmetics
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/complementary-therapies/paraben-etc-free-cosmetics
http://www.breastcancerfund.org/reduce-your-risk/tips/choose-safe-cosmetics/
http://bcaction.org/our-take-on-breast-cancer/environment/safe-cosmetics/paraben-free-cosmetics/
http://m.cancer.org/treatment/supportprogramsservices/look-good-feel-better
http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/
http://forums.vogue.com.au/showthread.php?t=63735
http://www.specktra.net/t/104316/nars-powder-foundation-ingredients
http://thebeautybrains.com/2010/06/05/is-nars-makeup-worth-the-price-2/
http://m.sephora.com/sheer-glow-foundation-P247355
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2008/11/06/earth-friendly-makeup-how_n_139270.html
http://www.makeupandbeautyblog.com/product-reviews/makeup-and-beauty-tips-for-breast-cancer-patients-staying-beautiful-inside-and-out-product-reviews-bath-tartes-sweet-dreams-lipstick/
http://doctornalini.com/cancer-causing-cosmetics-poisions-in-your-bathroom/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)